Cyrenaic

Cyrenaic

Tuesday, January 18, 2022

Another year passes after Cam died and there is nothing to show for it

 By Steve Otto

On January 21, my wife died one year ago. That means I’ve been a widow for a year. It hasn’t been a good year. I’ve tried to date women and that has not gone well. I only had one date that lasted more than once and it is now over. Some of my friends have seemed to take offence at me dating after Cam. But overall the experience has sucked.

Suddenly as that date comes closer—today is the 19, I realize how little I got done in a year. Nothing good came out of this year. I’m alone—really alone. I’m trapped in a house I don’t like—in a town I don’t like. The only thing I did like was tea and I quit using that. So now I really have nothing. Even work on my political blogs has dropped off. I do less and less every day.

Saturday, January 15, 2022

My birthday, 67 years old, 2022

 By Steve Otto

When the day began, I was not considering this to be a very good birthday. I’m sure I’ve had bad ones before, but this one got off to a bad start.

I’ve had this new girl friend, that is until today. She had plans for us to stay in a motel for a day or two. Those plans didn’t last long. The woman is crazy. She claims I said something rude while I was drunk. We all say stupid things when we are drunk. But she would not let it go. After a while she accused me of badgering her for the last 4 hours. All I did was try to talk to her. The more we talked the more obnoxious she got. When she finally left at dawn, I was glad to be rid of her.

I was supposed to have a celebration dinner at longhorn steakhouse. My brother John decided it was too cold to drive around, so we (meaning mostly him) decided to call of the dinner until tomorrow. So, realizing that I had nothing to drink tonight, I set off to walk to the liquor store for some refreshments. While it was 25 degrees out, more or less, I bundled up to go to that liquor store about 2 miles down the road.

Despite the long walk and the cold, I started off, trudging along. I stopped at Pizza Hut and decided to eat a little pizza and drink some ice tea. Then I got a call from my brother Phill. He didn’t know we called of dinner. So, I invited him to meet me at Pizza Hut. Then we went to the Agave Restaurant near the local liquor store.

Phill ate dinner, I just drank margaritas. It was a fine afternoon.



Wednesday, January 05, 2022

I'm done with on-line dating--complety done.

 By Steve Otto

I have finally had my fill of on-line dating sites. For me it is a waste of time. Elite Singles has tried to take about $137 out of my account and I plan to stop them. I don’t want their service anymore. None of the women I met there wanted anything to do with me. I went on two dates and they were a one time deal.

I went to Match.com and I have had no better luck with them. I will cut the cord for them soon. I went to another site, which is more of a sex site and I am reminded “There is no sex in the Champaign room. None! Oh there is Champaign in the Champaign room, but you don’t want Champaign. You want sex.”

So I will stick to meeting women in person. I’ve met two women here at a bar and one of them still sees me. So my life now doesn’t completely suck.

Between my no longer functioning card and my isolation here in my home, this week has been a real cluster fuck. I’ve been stuck here a lot, since uber won’t take my card and won’t take cash. My brother has been too sick to drive me anywhere and I can’t get a hold of my new girlfriend. I have had all kinds of problems with my bank, including an end to my card.

I either had bad cold 2 days or Covid. NOT GOOD!



Sunday, December 26, 2021

Christmas/ Winter Solstice celebration 2021

 By Steve Otto

This is one of the worst Christmases I've ever had. When I woke up on Christmas morning I realized how alone I really am. Things got better as the day wore on. This is my first Christmas without Cam and it has been different. I had a bottle of Spumante sparkling wine which I planned to drink later in the day. But what the hell, it tasted fine at 6 in the morning. Since I hadn't eaten breakfast yet, I really felt the alcohol. I had some Whisky for later in the day.

The only gift I got was from my brother Terry who lives in Sandy Oregon. It was dried fish. The only gift I gave was a copy of Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas by Hunter S Thompson to a woman, Cheri, who I dated on Christmas Eve. The evening before Christmas was way better Christmas Day.

It's been a crappy year so maybe next year will be better. I wanna say it can't be any worse, but that just isn't true.

 

These are the only Christmas songs I haven't posted here, this year:


 





And for some reason I never got around to posting this one:



 Probably my least favorite commercial this year is:

This year Scrooge is a hero and he doesn’t need to change anything


If there is anything I am now grateful for it is the end of seeing this stupid ad.



I put up this cheezy aluminum X-mas trees.

Friday, December 24, 2021

Tom Saad—one of my best friends dies at 66 years old

By Steve Otto

Once again I'm writing on the death of a friend, Tom Saad. Tom and I went to Goddard High together. That is how we met. I don't know why, but for many years we hung out and did all kinds of things. We went bar hopping all the time. We use to frequent the Riverside Chalet, for many years. It was our favorite bar. That is where I first met my future first wife to be Mary Ann.


Before that we did a lot of things. One year we took a trip to Colorado. We got to Denver after mid-night. Everything was closed so we went to Boulder, a college town. All the bars had stopped serving alcohol but they let bands play until dawn. We met a woman who wanted to sell us "scag" (heroin) but at the time neither of us was into that.

When we were younger Tom was the bad boy. He committed senseless acts of minor criminality. He was found of telling me the story of when he broke into a local mortuary, near his home in Colwich, and he stole the hearse. He drove it down Douglas, a street we youngsters used to drive around for fun, back in the 1970s. At the end of the night he returned the hearse and no one at the mortuary ever realized he had stolen it. One day he came to my house and he was driving a car he stole. I was freaked out knowing how much trouble he could get into and me if I were caught with him.

I could go on and on about the things we used to do. I remember a night when we went to the drive-in to see Easy Rider, a popular movie. At the end of the show his truck was not recharging and the battery was about to go dead. We went down Kellogg going 80 miles an hour without head lights. And we made it to his house. Another night, for what ever reason, he drove real fast down a one-way street the wrong way.

While I and a few of my friends used LSD[1] a few times and cautiously, he went through a faze where he took it all the time. For a few years he did it lots of times. He was almost an LSD junky. I should point out that, at that time, he seem to get a lot more women than I did.

It is all amazing, however, in later years I was the bad boy. I shot up heroin and used narcotics. He strayed away from LSD but kept using marijuana. He never shot up drugs. We both used to visit a drug dealer who we both knew was shooting people up with heroin. He never did that.

At about the age of 20, I got married to my first wife and we moved away. We lost touch. I didn't see Tom again for a few decades. About 10 years ago we met up again. It was great to see someone from the old days. Tom had health problems. We both had been married to various women, me two time, him three. I remember that one of his wives had a child. She beat him to death and they tried to blame Tom. While he was on trial for murdering a 3 month old child, she left town for Colorado. It didn't take long for authorities to realize she was the murderer. Still Tom got injured by some self righteous jack ass in the prison.

Once again we went places and saw each other from time to time.

Tom was always a hippie (some of Tom's artwork can be seen in this article) and in some ways I am also. He was a painter and a poet. But I always felt his real talents were in his art work. He had a very distinctive stile.

In the beginning of our friendship Tom was more of a working class kid and I was a little more middle class, with ambitions to go to college. Tom didn't like education and never went. In the end we were more alike, both of us working class people. I told him more than once that I enjoyed college, and I learned a lot about philosophy and art, but it didn't help as much as I would have liked as far as getting me a high paying job. Also we both had wives, him Linda and me Cam Gentry,  which we had for many years. In the end we were much more alike.

I will miss Tom. He has been one of my best friends. And there are few people I know as long as I knew him.

As I write this article I have not yet seen an Obit on Tom. As I get that information I will post it.



[1] AKA acid, Lysergic acid diethylamide.

Wednesday, December 22, 2021

Winter Solstice 2021

Yesterday I celebrated the Winter Solstice. I drank some Martinis which for me is a good winter drink. The juniper berries remind me of Christmas because they taste like a Christmas tree.

The 21st of December was the Winter Solstice. Most of the modern holidays are based on that holiday. Christmas and Saturnalia are among holidays that were decided by the time of the year. During the shortest day of the year, people had a tendency to find something to celebrate. For many people today, this is right before Christmas which is a religious holiday — the birth of the god-man Jesus Christ, the founder of Christianity.

-Steve Otto


Jethro Tull BBC Promo Video for Solstice bells 1976



Thursday, December 02, 2021

Father Christmas- The Kinks & Green Day

 The holidays are here. For me it has been bittersweet due to the loss of my wife and other difficult problems. Still I post what I post every year songs such as Father Christmas, which means a lot to me.



I also put up my lights...just lights.