It's been the worst 4th of July I can ever remember

 By Steve Otto

WOW!!! I didn't realize how bad a holiday can suck until today. My one bank card wont work, so no Uber rides. Iv'e been trying to get a cab since 11:30. It's now about 3. I just realized I forgot to turn on the AC on in the hottest day of the year so far. Its been one cluster fuck after another. I hope I never have a holiday like this again.

In other news there is a line we can call (316-290-1011) if we want to rat out our neighbors for lighting illegal fireworks. As far as I'm concerned they can light off dynamite or hand grenades if they want.

The one thing I did enjoy, that day, were the fireworks I bought earlier in the week. I had various sized rockets and some helicopters. I also had some smoke bombs, firecrackers and roman candles.

So although I was totally by myself, at least I had some fun fireworks that night. The neighbors, next door, also had fireworks, so I enjoyed watching them firing off their stuff.

My own blue smoke bomb.

Another update on dating- diving into the empty pool

By Steve Otto

This is another update on my dating experiences. My best simile is that my dating experience is like diving into a swimming pool. Just as I realize I’m where the water should be, I realize some one forgot to put water in the pool. There I am headed for a fall.

This week I called a woman I’ve known for some time and asked here out. She said she might go out with me. She said, “call me later.” So, I called her later. I had trouble getting her on the phone. So, Saturday I tried several times go get a hold of her. On the fourth try she answered the phone and went off on me. She got really mad and told me off. According to her I called “four times.” That’s four whole times. I guess four is way too many for her. Of course, she doesn’t answer her phone and a friend of hers said “you have to keep calling her.” And that’s what I did, and it just pissed her off.

Women seem kind of sensitive to me. I went with a woman last year and went drinking. After getting too drunk I mumbled something in a drunken stupor. I didn’t realize I was saying it. The woman took offence, and we haven’t seen each other since. These women seem to take the path of absolutely no forgiveness. Make a mistake and the relationship is over. There was a woman who got mad because I couldn’t remember who she was when she said she was” from the site.” It seemed as if I had two women yelling in my ear at the same time. Woman just aren’t that tolerant lately. I got mad and told one lady to fuck off. Of course, that pissed her off. She wanted to break things off anyway.

So overall, I have met some of the rudest women in my life. I have had

dates in the past. It was never this hard. I know I have made some mistakes, but once again, there is no forgiveness and no redemption. It has simply been a miserable experience. Maybe it will get better. I have recently been on the site Benaughty. I recently told a woman:

“Originally, I have been going to Elite Singles and Eharmony. So, I made up all these thing that I can match up with.  But by now, I'm thinking maybe I just want a horny woman who wants sex. The hell with political beliefs, religion and all that compatibility crap. I suddenly don' think it is that important. I once had a relationship with a woman who was nothing like me, but I found her physically attractive. I'm beginning to think that was as better idea.”  

 So this is my update. It could be better and I hope it gets better. 

Another adventure of dating and drinking

 By Steve Otto

Yesterday I went to the doctor, Dr. Ranjini Madhavan. All week long I’ve had blood sugar problems. A few weeks ago, I met a lady on Elite Singles. I was going to quit that site but I changed my mind. This woman I met from that site met at a local restaurant and told me she wanted to start out as friends. I agreed. On the positive side, I went out with her four times. She is the first woman I met on-line, who met me for more than just one date. I’ve had several dates, from that site, where I met a woman where she was my first and last date all in one.

So, this new friend tried to give me a lot of advice and help. On our fourth date she explained to me that we had no possible future- no possibility of a relationship. We were too different, she said. She even said she thinks a lot about an old flame. So, I feel like our time together is basically over.

One of her last suggestions was that I detox from alcohol and drugs.[1] At first I laughed that idea off. But lately I’ve been getting sick a lot and finally I decided to try and quit drinking and quitting drugs – at least for now. For almost a week I drank some beer- but no more whiskey and wine, which I have been drinking in the bars and at home.

After a week of near sobriety, I found myself in a deep depression. It was as bad as my “contemplate suicide” days. So, I resorted at least to a small dose of drugs to stop the depression.

So earlier this week I went to the Emergency Room, on the advice of my new girl friend and they suggested I go to my regular doctor. I did and she said the ER people said I was drunk and disoriented. I had been drinking but I explained that my blood sugar was at 45 one day and 20 two days later. They checked my blood sugar and did a number of tests for high blood pressure the condition of my heart and everything was normal. So, they acted like I was demented or something. The Doctor asked me if I forget things. I said, sometimes. She suggested I use Meals on Wheels. She asked me questions as to who lives at my house and if I have any relatives who can help me out. She wants to see a psychologists. He specializes in alcoholism. He may go by the AA[2] program’s philosophy.  That means no other drugs- no getting high in any way shape or form. Absolute sobriety.[3]

By the time I left the doctor’s office, I felt like I was perceived as a doddering demented old fart. Old age does suck for some of us. 

There is more to this story, I’m stopping here and I will continue this later.

---

[1] At this point I would rather not name the drug, in order to protect myself.

[2] Alcoholics Anonymous.

[3] See: The debate over choosing how we treat our own bodies continues with "People Are Going ‘California Sober"

Marlene Annette Winter has passed on—John Mesh and I went to her funeral recently

By Steve Otto

Marlene Winter just died recently—last month (April 10). I seem to be writing a lot of obituaries lately—way more than I would like to. I have to admit, I really liked Marlene. I almost liked her enough to ask her out on a date. But I never got the nerve up to doing that.

She was pretty. Even as she got older, she still looked good.

She liked tie-died shirts and other hippy type clothing. I remember years ago when I met her at Kirby's. She was bare foot and wearing a tie-died shirt, and in general, she dressed like a hippy.

As she got older she adopted a "born again" religion. She quit drinking  and her outlook on life was quite different from mine.  But she was always open minded enough where she did not run off her best friends, including me and John Mesh.

Two weeks ago (May 7)Mesh and I went to her funeral. She had been cremated so she was not actually there for us to see. But we met with her family and other friends. She was not all that old when she died. She had been sick and a post-Covid pulmonary embolism finished her off. This was a very sad occasion for John and I. John noticed that most of us, who visited Tim Pouncy at the hospital right before he died, were now dead. Just John and I are left.

It is a sad time in our lives where a lot of our friends are dying off. And in old age there is little we can do about that.

Another dismal dating experience

 By Steve Otto

Wow! What an ass hole. I met this woman tonight and she ran out on me when I went to the bathroom. Then she cut all contacts with me on that site. I don't know what bothered here but she clearly did not like me.

What an ass hole. She not only doesn't like me she is a coward.

So far my dating experiences have been really bad. I'm not sure what I'm going to do next. It sure has not done me much good to look for a woman to date. I get tired of always being alone. I was married a long time and I'm not used to it. The women I've met so far have  been terrible. Not one has agreed to a second date. I can't see myself giving up but clearly something is not working right.

Our old home movies

 It's fun to look at those old family movies. This one below has me and my Uncle Bill Otto:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnnRGs17nBQ

Here we are a little older:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wca53gOXeHc

And even older:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9M7nRQVTRGk

An update on my recent, crappy, dating experiences

 By Steve Otto

Wow. I've been going on dates ever since the beginning of the year. Despite my declaration that I was finished with on line dating, I hooked up with some women who were new to me anyway. So far the experience has been horrible.

I heard from some women last week. One woman suggested we go out. I also had a date with a different woman the week before. So on Saturday, I get a call from the first woman who says her daughter doesn't think it is proper that she is dating, since her husband died only last August. I told her that many of my friends said the same thing after my wife died January of last year. I told them I have the right to do what I want with the rest of my life. About the same time I get a call from anther woman from that site claiming we met at Silver Singles. But I'm not on that sight and I told her that. It turns out that Silver Singles and Elite Singles must use the same site. She cussed me out about the same time the other woman told me her daughter means to much to her for us to ignore her and go out. But now I'm being screamed at by 2 different people or it seems that way. I told the first woman to "fuck off." Bad choice of words I'm sure, but it doesn't matter much because I think it was over for us anyway.

The other woman decides to go out with me last Saturday. I really liked her and thought maybe we had something in common. She did not and sent me a text telling me that we "were incompatible" and other various things, including telling me that she blocked my phone number.

I've been out with several women, all of the dates lasted once. The messages I get seem nastier all the time. I left a message for a woman last week. Yesterday I got a message back that accused me of calling her a guy. I may have misprinted something, but I clearly knew she was a woman and I told her so. She was rude and cussed me out. But to be fair, she did sort of apologize. 

I'm pulling back from dating for now. It just seems like there are women out there who feel free to be rude and obnoxious to men they don't know. A lot of these women are ass holes. I'm considering lowering my age limit to 50. What happens to these women to give them the excuse to be rude and obnoxious to people they never me. Many of them don't look that good, but I figures it was only fair to approach women in my age group.

Well the hell with that. I don't know when I will go back to looking for women again, I seem to like dating despite all the crap I've had to put up with. I'm going to be a lot pickier with the women I approach and I feel no obligation to nice to any person who is not respectful of me.