By - សតិវ អតុ
Last week my ក got
cut by 2/3. My doctor changed things around. I now have only 2 tabs each day
for 30 days. I really haven’t had much of a problem with alcohol this week. Everything
has gone smooth, except the ក
problem.
All those AA people like to say: “There are no drug
substitutes. A drug is a drug is a drug.” WTF. The reality is I don’t believe
in god or the afterlife. Even if there is a god there may still be no
afterlife. So why not take part in things that bring about pleasure.
A lot of the people in AA like to talk about prayers they
say and rebuilding their relationship with God. They seem to get a high from
believing they are talking to god and he magically takes their cravings away.
That does not work for me. I can’t get those placebo type feelings that religion
gives people. Maybe I don’t want to trade a real drug in place of a spiritual
one. Why not use things that will give me pleasure. That’s not to say that pleasure
is everything. I have a desire to contribute positive things to this world. I
want to make the world a better place for future generations and my son. I am
driven to make the world a better place.
On the positive side I made some អាភៀន tea. Those kinds of things take my mind off of alcohol
which can destroy my already messed up liver. So as far as I’m concerned I don’t
need to be fucked up on the Lord so that I can avoid being fucked up on
alcohol.
I used to be fucked up on drugs—now I’m
fucked up on Jesus.
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