Journal entry—encouraging night of drug treatment

By សតិវ អតុ 

Tonight at the alcohol/drug treatment session that I go to each weak I actually felt better when I left. I‘ve been kind of down and out lately. I went to a NA meeting this week and while I sat there listening to people I suddenly wondered why I was there at all. It seemed so awkward. I go to these meetings about once a week and what do they do for me? Some of these people take the anti-drug message to the extremes. Is a drug really just the same as any other drug—can’t a person who quit using alcohol still use ក or any other drug? Are they all really just the same?

So tonight I did an exercise on my drug use year to year and the councilor said that he was amazed I didn’t die from using so much dope and that other people have died from such use. Another guy said he was amazed I could write a book and do other intellectual things while being all drugged and drunked up. The councilor also said there must be some purpose to my life for me to have survived all that stuff. Even though he probably meant some type of god stuff, I still took it as both a compliment and encouragement. I really needed some encouragement. I often feel beaten down and I like feeling like some people think I have redeeming qualities left.

We watched a film and my aunt—Shirley Otto was in it, speaking as the president of Missouri MADD Chapter. She talked about my cousin Michelle Otto. Michelle was killed by a drunk driver about 10 years ago.